faithfully visits her students after surgery at Doctors Community
Nicholson, RN (left) and assistant Audrey Wren flank popular medical
professional Max Knobny
Some of the
books students receive at the center
|| Top Story
The Daily Feed
Profiles in 'Feedage
Feed Fan Reveals:"MAX KNOBNY LEADING -secret- DOUBLE
By Mark Tintle
MD Listeners to "The Daily Feed" are all too familiar with the
myriad worldwide and interstellar adventures of Max Knobny; and, his perennial
assistance and aggravation of "Ace" 'Feed editor, Frank Benlin.
"You'd think his plate would be full enough with all he's
SUPPOSED to be doing HERE," undisclosed sources quote Benlin as
reporter has, however, accidentally discovered that, in addition to his copious
responsibilities and demanding schedule at "The Daily Feed", Max
Knobny may also be pursuing a highly lucrative career as a professional medical
this constitute any "conflict of interest" pursuant to his
contractual agreement with "The Daily Feed"? Does it compromise Max's
solemn oath to provide his "totally unslanted opinion"?
leave this conundrum for you, the "'Feeding" public to ultimately
Allow me to
introduce myself. I am what you would call a "Zufällige"
(German: Loosely meaning, "When-EVER") Voice-talent, Audio Archivist,
Mail-Room Guy, and Coffee Bean Counter, for Dryden-Clarke Audio Programmes,
Inc.; producers and distributors of "The Daily Feed" - the ONLY
worldwide source for opinions truly TOTALLY unslanted.
been my honor to serve D.C. Audio ever since 1985; yet, in all that time, I
have never been scheduled to work at a time when Max Knobny was ACTUALLY IN the
studios. (But-hey- it's a busy place- the frantic editors rush in and out, like
"straight line winds" of the jet stream dipping down to the surface-
135 mph one way, then, seconds later, moving at equal or greater velocity in
the opposite direction. I've never seen Frank, either, and only passed Peter
Markham in the control room about three times in all these years.)
mystery of Max's possible double life began to unravel when, last fall, I fell.
After months of medications and therapy, it was determined that surgery was
necessary. My "super" neurosurgeon, Joel L. Falik,M.D.FACS; scheduled
the operation for the following week at Doctors Community Hospital in Lanham,
Maryland,(a suburb of Washington, D.C.) In the interim, I was to have a battery
of tests, X-rays, and a physical. All of those "pre-op" requirements
sounded routine, but what he said next really threw me. "You're going to
have to go to school and take a class," Dr. Falik informed me.
"Take a CLASS?" I grumbled, "How LONG is this
"Oh, about 2 or 3 hours," he replied, "I highly
recommend that all of my patients take this class. It's very important. They'll
teach you how to be a good patient - before and after surgery."
"But- don't I just sort of, well, lie there and get operated
on?" I reasoned, dreading the thought of a long lecture on... whatever.
"Just take the class," he responded reassuringly, "it's
very valuable, and, you'll cover a lot of things you'll need to know to help
make this operation a success - things you possibly haven't considered yet -
it's a very good source for what you'll need to become what I need - an
EDUCATED patient. YOU take the class - THEN, I'll operate."
following week, with all other prerequisites met, I hobbled painfully towards
"The Joint & Spine Care Center of Maryland" at Doctors Hospital.
Accompanied by my wife (and also caregiver) Theresa ("Terry"), we
entered the waiting room; and, were met by office coordinator Audrey Wren; and,
the instructor, Orthopedic Specialist Edna Nicholson, RN. (The "Dynamic
Duo" of the J&S Center). We were directed to the class- room, where we
met several other surgical "candidates" with joint & spinal
injuries. As we awaited the arrival of other students, Nurse Nicholson,
("Just call me 'Edna'"), presented each of us with no less than six
different text booklets; covering topics including: Patient's Rights, Pain
Management, Receiving Anesthesia and Transfusions, Post -Operative Behavior,
Exercise, and even one entitled;"Sex after Back Surgery..." [See Surgery, A14]
|| News In Brief
isn't so!" cry co-workers!
PROFESSIONALS and HOSPITAL JOURNAL Proclaim: "No BONES About
Tote Or Cap
LANHAM Doctors Community Hospital students receive a handy "Earth
Tote" bag or a nifty ball cap upon completion of the program. Instructor
Edna Nicholson, RN, presented both to The Daily Feed Editors.
Where Does He Keep His Keys?
Issue Focus: Conflicts Of Interest In The
Neglect Scandal: What Ever Happened To Charles, The
Daily Feed Dog?
Radio Journalism is to Real Journalism
At The Audio Control Panel
The Daily Daily presents:
Another Totally Unslanted Opinion
A look at statistics we've manipulated to say what we want
them to say
|For those of you
who have been following progress closely, here are the long promised results
from Max's latest experiment.